"The New Rules of Facebook Etiquette"

1) It is okay to comment on someone’s status update almost immediately. Done too quickly, however, and you may run the risk of being labeled a “Facebook Stalker.” Best to play it cool.
2) Facebook messages are meant to be treated like regular email. You must pretend that you are busy doing other things to look cool, especially when dealing with a member of the opposite sex. Courting is a dance. The closer you get to a “date” the longer you should take to respond. Best to play it ice cold.
3) It is frowned upon to become members of the opposite sex you don’t know just because they are cute. This does NOT mean you can’t do it, but don’t expect anything to come of it. If you want to pick them up, I suggest “MySpace.” That shit is skanky.
4) It is generally accepted practice for employers to look your shit up. They do not see any ethical / moral dilemma with this, especially when reviewing your application. Therefore, you should lock you account down so that it is not ‘public.’ If they’re going to look, you might as well hide it. Also, be aware of people you don’t know asking to be your friend. There are instances where employers have set up fake Facebook accounts to spy on their employees.
5) I would not recommend uploading another person’s photos as if they are your own. That is NOT cool, especially before the person who took the pictures has uploaded them. There is a thing called intellectual property, and it applies to Facebook as well.
6) It is more than fine to NOT accept family members or coworkerss as friends on Facebook, and no explanation is needed. Another great reason to hide your shit from public view.
7) Shameless self-promotion gets annoying on Facebook. Better to refrain, unless you’ve set up a “fan-based” page. Then, by all means, promote away.
8) It takes a certain type of person to be funny on Facebook. It’s best you do NOT try unless you KNOW you are that type of person.
9) If hiding from the government, for any purpose, NEVER give out any location information and DO NOT post photos on Facebook. Hell, you probably shouldn’t be on Facebook if that is the case.
10) Lastly, if you are a female, the more pictures you can put up of yourself and your friends in bikinis the better for the entire Facebook community.